neko's thinkbox

I believe summer should be all about melting popsickles, hot girls, and a guitar + amp combo to rest your boobs on. On the beach, naturally.

I believe summer should be all about melting popsickles, hot girls, and a guitar + amp combo to rest your boobs on. On the beach, naturally.

Last night, I’ve had a nightmare. The first in years. It was about volcanoes, as always. And when I went onto the internets in the morning – clear mistake – I ended up relapsing in another “omgwhysofewcommentsomgwtfthissucksomg” craze, kind of like Kanon freaking out in Umi Monogatari. MWAHAAHAHAHAHA. In my bed. Ugh, I hate nightmares.

Last time, I picked the least interesting shows at the last part of my spring impressions series. Will it be the same this time again? Judge for yourself!

Woops, I can’t count. So first post was 4 series, second was 5, and third is 6? Trouble for OCD.

List of series in part Three:

Bakemonogatari
Element Hunters
GA Geijutsuka Art Design Class
Kanamemo
Princess Lover!
Yoku Wakaru Gendai Mahou

Bakemonogatari

Rien ne va plus.

Rien ne va plus.

Well, I really would wax lyrical about how confusing this whole episode was to me, but in the end it would result in me ranting about all the Ishin references, parodies and meta-jokes (also called SHAFTisms I heard) which I absolutely don’t have a clue about. Subtly blunt or bluntly subtle, I can’t name it. This extraordinary way of presenting a certain logic reminded me so strongly of the frustrating SZS sessions of the past. Why, of course, it’s the usual culprit: SHAFT. More precisely, Akiyuki Shinbo.

The “camera” going all over the place showing random stuff, then a random colored screen with walls of text or just some random Animation Number, and then a random visualization describing the current action, and all of this mixed with tons of possible references. I think I’ve never paused an anime episode as often as this. I know, I shouldn’t have, as live viewers usually just ignore those because the messages flash in way too fast anyway, but curiosity kills the cat. And in the long run, it is way too distracting to ignore it and it ruins my viewing experience in a sense. I can see the anime for what it is and it might be good, if not excellent, but I simply don’t like this kind of experimental animation.^[1] I would also comment on the story – I understood the plot despite the many distractions – but I am clearly biased about the animation right now so I will simply just let it be.

Finishing this rant off, I think this is just an epic ragequit from Shinbo’s originality. I am too impatient, too stupid to understand it, and I will remain oblivious and not bother with it. Ignorance is bliss. But as I said, it’s definitely not like Bakemonogatari sucks, but I simply can’t bring myself to like it for now.

…Then again, it’s not like Schrödingers Crab will eventually come and get me, either.

Element Hunters

And that is what the symbol of nitrogen looks like. Remember it well.

And that is what the symbol of nitrogen looks like. Remember it well.

Large-scale disasters are happening because certain elements from the periodic table disappear in a certain area. These elements are stolen (eaten) by monsters from a parallel world, and Element Hunters are to retrieve the stolen elements by causing chemical reactions within the monster’s bodies.

It’s a really interesting premise, but the execution is simply lacking. Then again, this is a kids’ show all right. At least, that’s what I think and hope it is.
A trio of common children manage to avoid a water trap and run for a couple of metres, and suddenly they’re recruited as Element Hunters, thrown onto a different planet/dimension where they are told to defeat large, nitrogen-eating monsters by throwing potatoes into their mouths. And of course they are so courageous, survive explosions without a scratch, and even leap over objects as if sv_gravity was set to 0. You can also survive a concentrated cloud of ammonium^[2] and store thousands of m³ worth of N (no N², of course) onto small USB-like sticks! Easy Mode, kimoi!
Allright, now face this as a prepubescent middle school student: potatoes containing nitroglycerine, neutrino dispersion, and molybdenum-absorbing bacteria. Woops! You really should have paid more attention during chemistry classes… 3 years in the future. Manabu bouken.^[3]

Well, most children probably would not pay any heed to such complicated stuff (apart from memorizing the periodic table easier) so they contemplate the simplistic action of this anime featuring an albino android in maid服A true albino!!, an Asuka Langley cloneANTA BAKA??, and Gendo Ikari’s brotherBlondie Bald Gendo. I fucking lol’d. supervising a familiar control centerZAAAANKOKU NAAAAA!
Of course, this anime is nothing for an old curmudgeon such as I, although it could have had potential if it was a little more SRS BSNS.
(And change the seiyuu for Ren. In a life-threatening situation, all she managed to yell was a bored “Homiiiiiiiiiii” which truly pierced my ears. Awful.)

GA Geijutsuka Art Design Class

Is this what people mean when they say I CAME (literally)'?

Is this what people mean when they say “I CAME (literally)”?

cf. Hidamari Sketch.

Self-imposed P.S.: Actually no. Actually yes. The similarities are staggering. Both are 4koma adaptations at their best, slice of life, both themes are about drawing/painting/art, the OP/ED songs are themed too, and the series occasionally offer art basics and general knowledge too. If it counts for anything, the main difference is that there are 5 main characters in GA (as opposed to 4). And the design of course which seems to be propped up with 100% more moeJUST LOOK AT THOSE GLASSES SO MOEEEEE -_-, although the copious amounts of SDNothing for diabetics. are fairly similar again. Definitely nothing for diabetics this time either.
But as we know from K-On!, moe alone cannot sustain a show. So of course, there was plenty of comedy to fill these 4koma-esque episodicals. I really couldn’t stop laughing at several jokes, as trivial and stupid as they may have been. It already started with the GA! greetingI swear I looped that scene at least ten times., and I knew I’d like this show right away.

My favs so far are Tomokane and Miyabi. Tomokane because she’s just impulsively tomboyishSTOP! HAMMER TIME and totally bonkersI still can’t stop laughing at this… pictogram. and I find it hilarious, and MiyabiJiiiiiiiii. because she is smart, and obviously reminds me of a certain someoneYes, the mandatory seasonal cameo by yours truly.. Did I mention I like contrasty colors?

The comparison with HS is inevitable. This said, I am fairly sure that GA will be good enough to stand on its own. Because its characters are using IllustratorGO VECTORS. (And apparently there will be different EDs every episode. Yay~)

Kanamemo

All of my facepalms accumulated during this episode definitely hurt a lot more than this

All of my facepalms accumulated during this episode definitely hurt a lot more than this “accident”. Fucking stupid show.

Seriously boring show. Too superficial. Just how would a 13 year old deduce from the removal of the furniture that she would be cast away as well? Stupid. And then she lands into a mess filled with generic characters. The only interesting bit, if anything, was the open lesbian relationshipProbably the only thing I liked in this whole episode besides the ED. between Yuuki and Yume. But… who cares?

Oh and I absolutely detested like the lolicon undertonesTHIS JUST IN: LOLIS JUST INVADED YOUR SCREEN. of this anime. Big breasted female pedophile fantasizing about lolisYou pedo cow. and fondling loli breastsTHERE IS NOTHING TO GROPE! Just rubbing is fine. again and againPublic fondling this time. God, this is awes- it sucks.? (Cat censoringPoor cat. No wait. Lucky cat. No wait. Poor cat. It’s looking the wrong way. reminding of KnJ:(?) No.

Pr0ncess Lover!

Not only couldn't I find a good title image, but I can't even think of anything witty to subtitle it. Pfff.

Not only couldn’t I find a good title image, but I can’t even think of anything witty to subtitle it. Pfff.

Oops! I obviously meant Princess Lover! or How to fail at upvaluing a stupid sounding title with an exclamation mark!

So! I watched this anime! With a mind to hate it! And wanted to write it off! As yet another shitty eroge adaptation! But! It is surprisingly! …..okay. Apart from the oversized breastsCushion? It’s a fucking AIRBAG. and the incredible forces causing them to jiggle around so much, I kind of liked it. Really! The design and the execution are great. The animation could need a little smoothness but is still good.

Of course, in a harem eroge you will almost always have to abide to certain generic rules: rainbow colored hairs, maids, nobles, tsunderes, lolis, etc. Princess Lover is no exception, but I feel that the characters do not emit the same generic aura I know from other shows. Although, now. Noble tsundere who knows fencingExcept that this girl here has bigger boobs. And blue eyes. (blatant copy of Octavia from Tears to Tiara imo), noble loli with “onii-chan” fetishPlease do me gently, onii-chan!, noble princess riding in a horse cart with her personal butler who’s as agile as a ninjaReminds me of…They are my noble Masters.. I do like the maid though. Omg, she’s so… CUTEFor some reason I really want to hug her. Aww. AWWWWWW.. Dibs on her, IMMEDIATELY.^[4] Allright. But this said, this anime somehow managed to shift my focus towards the plot rather than being distracted by my rageful thoughts against fanservice. I immediately sympathized with Teppei (who is a pretty solid male lead so far) after the death of his parents, and from there on the rest of the story made good sense so far.

Actually, I had expected a lot more fanservice here, but there were only a few pantyshots… which were brilliantly censored by DARKNESSDARK HOLE! All monsters are removed from the field.. As if you’re looking into a black hole. How fucking easy is that? I haven’t seen such blatant laziness since Girls Bravo.^[5] (There was one shot they didn’t bother to censorDARK HOLE was destroyed by HARPIE’S FEATHER DUSTER… Okay, I’ll shut up. Enjoy 1 mm³ of pantsu. though. OMGFAPFAP… no.) I praised the story, but I fear this episode was just deceit, and will put the plot on hold until the last few episodes, and swap it with more fanservice; why, the number of females will probably increase exponentially now, and with it the amount of service. I guess I will have to watch the second episode to see if my fears are justified.

Yoku Wakaru Gendai Mahou

Gate of Babylon? CREATE YOUR OWN SPELLS, YOU IMPOSTER. THIS ISN'T FATE STAY NIGHT.

Gate of Babylon? CREATE YOUR OWN SPELLS, YOU IMPOSTER. THIS ISN’T FATE/STAY NIGHT.

This has got to be every programmer’s fantasy. Your everyday binary code turns into magic! 010000010101011101000101010100110100111101001101010001010010000100100001

The beginning seemed okay, and I thought it would turn out like Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 where the first episode would introduce characters and show the progression up until the point that was first shown: the battle between the two girls and that French casanova. But it didn’t. It ended during another battle, where another new character came into action, too. Which raises the question why they showed that thing in the beginning then? And right after that, no-pantsu Yumiko being chased by Sugar Daddy JayJay (Jean-Jacques) through the town. And after that, the actual introduction of Yumiko. Weirrrrd.

Well, this being a mahou shoujo series, it’s obvious it would star cute, naive prepubescent girls screaming and crying about. And a very, very evil arch-nemesis incarnated by a French pedophile chasing this poor girl without pantsu (because she had previously thrown her pantsu in the face of a bullying classmateAnother theory would be that her pantsu weighs half a ton and broke his nose. Discuss. of hers.^[6] ) She’s pretty dense too. One line in particular killed me: Not only is someone after my life, but my bottom feels cold too.What are you, fucking stupid? LOL, girls sure get their priorities straight fast nowadays. But hey, who doesn’t like a nice bare loli assThis undecent behavior calls for severe spanking.! We could even have had a peek from the front, had Yumiko not had the innate female reflexI might die, but you will NEVER see my butterfly! of pulling her skirt down, because that’s what matters most when tentacles are grabbing you by the leg and swinging you 20 feet high around the air.

Err, I don’t know, either I am tired because this is the last series and/or because I was focusing too much on having a nice peek at Yumiko’s slender loli bodyNo, they haven’t grown yet. But they might if you keep rubbing and fondling them. and her nonexistent pantsu during herKeep rollin’ endlessrollin’ barrelrollin’ rollsrollin’ – but this story really didn’t connect with me at all despite the nice beginning. It’s yet another “girl-with-mage-bloodline-awakens-her-latent-powers” plot, peppered with simplistic midboss fights. Just why would a cerberus wait five minutes until this loli manages to utter ten books words of chants only to throw a sword of light at it? Yareyare. I give up. I’m too old for this kind of stuff.

But the binary magic sure sounds interesting. Heh, I’m sure the recent Minorin waterbottle drama was just a recent PR action by Evian, who injected the code “Drink me you otaku lolblogger”, and so they did. The code also caused the major uproar amongst the butthurt people who kept going “Fuck you, who cares? I’ll drink Volvic nonetheless.” But I’m sure Evian will sell a lot better down there in SEA now.

That should cover all of the regular series this season. There barely are no definite watches or bloggable series… With so many potential watches, I guess I will have to make a final post to confirm my impressions.

So, have my opinions matched yours? Have they not? Is this way of presenting my impressions good? Too much TL;DR? Too many spoilers? Too verbal? Make sure to tell me! Besides, next season I might be less of a selfish whore and involve my co-blogger’s opinions too. Might make this a lot more fun to read.

1. This is probably why I never managed to watch on SZS in the first place. [↩]
2. Ammonia is toxic to humans in high concentrations, and can cause injury to the mucosal lining of the lung, or alkali burns. -Wikipedia. [↩]
3. A learning adventure. NHK E’s slogan. [↩]
4. How often must I repeat I have NO MAID FETISH щ(ﾟДﾟщ) [↩]
5. Wasn’t it the 2nd series? (I only watched the first series but I heard stuff about the second…) [↩]
6. But apparently he didn’t like the smell and started crying, BLASPHEMY! loli pantsu are HOLY ITEMS! [↩]